


Breaking Point

by angelsarefallingassbut



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 12x06, Angst, F/F, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22699729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsarefallingassbut/pseuds/angelsarefallingassbut
Summary: Set after 12x06. The Doctor is upset Yaz put herself in danger. Angst ensues.“You say you care about me, I....I do to! And I want to help you Doctor, I want to know you. Sometimes your facade slips and I see...I get glimpses of what you try to hide. Doctor, you are so broken, and hurting so much. But you just won’t let me in.” Yaz took several ragged breaths and un-clenched her fists. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 65





	Breaking Point

“Don’t you ever do that again.”

Yaz looked up to find the doctor standing in her doorway. Yaz watched as the doctor swallowed before giving her a hard look. “Don’t you ever pull a stunt like that again!”

Yaz could play dumb, could ask whatever the doctor was going on about but she knew better. She clearly remembered the look the doctor had given her at the time. She hadn’t agreed with Yaz’s plan at all, but she new better than to argue with her friend. That if she dared to get hurt or even worse....

Yaz studied the alien standing before her and suddenly became defensive. How dare the doctor be upset with her when their adventures always brought danger? How most times it was in the fact the doctor who made rash decisions.

Yaz stood, crossing her arms. “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same thing.”

The Doctor knew her friend had a valid point. She cocked her head for a second. “Okay,” She relented. “Maybe I would have. But that’s not the point.”

Yaz rolled her eyes. “I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal out of this.”

The Doctor threw up her arms. “Because you could get hurt! It’s a reckless decision, especially since I wouldn’t be there to protect you!”

“Now you think I need a protector?” Yaz scoffed. The conversation was heading in a dangerous direction and Yaz’s anger was rising by the minute.

“No, especially not you Yaz.” The Doctor’s face softened. “You are incredibly brave and independent and....you are just brilliant.” The Doctor hinted at a smile before continuing. She took a step into Yaz’s room and paced the small space. “Human life is precious, so very precious! Absolutely fleeting! You humans....Yasmin Khan, you could have died.” The Doctor stopped in front of her friend, serious again. Your life could have ended the second you went through that teleportation portal.”

Yaz shrugged her shoulders, playing it off. Her mental health had been suffering the last few days and had been a part in making the decision that she did, not that she would tell the Doctor that. “Well, we’re all going to die sometime right?” Before the doctor could continue ,and Yaz could tell that she was going to, the human continued. “Besides, why do you care so much?”

Now it was the doctor’s turn to bluff. “Oh, I don’t care.” She said casually, her eyes wandering the room Yaz had decorated to call home. She shoved her hands in her pockets. “Why would I care?” She mumbled. “ ’Course I don’t care. Nope, doesn’t matter to me at all in fact.”

Yaz let out a shrill laugh. “Yes you do, or you wouldn’t have come in here just to give me a lecture.”

“Nope, don’t care one bit if you run off and make stupid rash decisions-”

“Just like you would.” Yaz butted in, meeting the Doctor’s gaze.

The Doctor faltered at that, only for a split second, but quickly recovered. “And put yourself in immediate danger. You have no idea how fleeting your lives really are! They may feel long and monotonous to your kind but they really are nothing! Absolutely nothing! I’ve seen it, I’ve lost people. Too many people! And to loose you too, so soon. It would hurt me Yaz!”

They both grew silent. The Doctor realizing she had said too much (as usual) and Yaz looking at her feet as she tried to understand the implications of what had just transpired.

Eventually, Yaz looked up. “That’s not fair. It’s not fair that you get to tell me what to do and where to go and to not do anything stupid or reckless because oh, it might hurt you. What about me?” Yaz’s voice cracked. “I know almost nothing about you!” She studied the doctor, watching as her friend tucked her hands back into her pockets. Yaz dropped her voice, as the next part hurt to say. “And sometimes that scares me.” She was afraid to look at her friend, afraid to see the hurt she must have caused.

The Doctor’s blue eyes were filled with grief.

“You say you care about me, I....I do to! And I want to help you Doctor, I want to know you. Sometimes your facade slips and I see...I get glimpses of what you try to hide. Doctor, you are so broken, and hurting so much. But you just won’t let me in.” Yaz took several ragged breaths and un-clenched her fists. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

The Doctor slowly raised her gaze to her friend. Her lips quavered as she regained her composure. “Yasmin, I’m thousands of years old. I wouldn’t even know where to begin-”

“Anywhere!” Yaz cried. “Tell me about your family, about your friends, about the people you've loved. Just tell me something.!”

The time lord couldn’t meet her gaze, Suddenly, she was ashamed of herself, Of her past, what she had done. And now, with everything she thought she knew about herself and her kind hanging in the balance....

“Everything I know, everything that I am is a lie.” She whispered hoarsely, the words barely able to escape her lips.

Yaz felt the grief as if it were her own and went to her friend. She hesitated as she stood in front of the alien.

Her blond hair hid her face as she hunched over, shielding herself from Yaz’s gaze. “My planet is gone and I’ve lost my family eons ago. I just want to go home, I just want....” She let out a long breath, her hands shaking.

Yaz put a gentle hand on her arm, her grip tender.

“I’ve done terrible things Yaz,” She threw a glance to her friend then hurriedly looked away. “I’m not...I’m not always good. And I need...I need to do some good. Someone has to look out for you humans,” She tried to smile.

Yaz knelt down, gripping the time lords wrists. Just let me in. Let me hold you. Let me comfort you. Let me love you. “Doctor,” Yaz couldn’t continue as her friend’s piercing blue eyes met her own brown. They were filled with tears. Yaz stumbled, shocked at seeing her brave and cheerful friend finally so vulnerable, so raw.

The Doctor escaped her friends grip and stood quickly. She straightened her jacket and turned so her back was to her friend. “Do you know how I got my TARDIS?” She asked. “I stole it.” She whipped around quickly, her coat twirling around her and strode towards Yaz. She stopped mere inches from her friend. Chest to chest, eye to eye. “I stole a TARDIS and ran away and destroyed my own kind.”

Her voice was hard. “Still sound like someone you want to save? Still think you can fix me?”

“Yes.” Yaz whispered breathlessly. The creature in front of her terrified her to her very core but she was entranced. This was the friend who had changed everything. She’d shown her incredible, breathtaking things. She’d changed her life in the best way possible. She loved every single inch, every single molecule of the figure in front of her. Nothing would change that, as dangerous a thought as that was.

She wrapped her arms around the Doctor’s slender waist and felt all the fight leave the time lord. She went limp against Yaz’s body, head buried in the others neck.

Yaz cradled the back of her head and pulled her even closer to her. Her mind was a whirlwind. So much to comprehend. So much to digest. The Doctor could never be so cruel, could she? Yaz’s breathing hitched at the thought but she quickly forced them away. The Doctor was falling apart in her very arms and it overwhelmed her entire being. Here was what she had been wanting and she was immensely unprepared for what it had brought.

Yaz brought a hand up to rest on her companions cheek, tracing a stray piece of blond hair with her thumb. “Doctor, I’ve only ever seen kindness in you. Your whole being radiates it. You are truly amazing and I can never repay you for the things you've shown me and how you've utterly changed my life. You may not think you are worth saving, but to me you are so much more than what you’ve done or who you’ve been. I’ve watched you save countless people, I’ve been there as you save planets and species and its been absolutely amazing. People can change Doctor, I’m sure you've only changed for the better.” 

Yaz felt the doctors hands wrap around her, finally embracing her back. “And as for your home....” Yaz drew back to search her friends face. “I..... I’m sorry.” She said softly, finally succumbing to the fact that maybe in fact she couldn't piece this broken creature back together. Maybe some things were out of her control. “I’m so sorry Doctor.” She repeated, lifting the others chin. “I can’t fix it.” She said, the honestly of it causing her voice to crack again. “But whatever you need, I’m here for you. Please know that. I love you....” She took a deep breath. “I love you so very much doctor.”

The blonde headed alien gracefully sank to the floor. She looked defeated.

Yaz carefully followed her, sitting cross legged across from her friend. “Doctor...” She said softly, a hint of worry seeping through.

The words seemed to wake the Doctor from a trance. Her head snapped up to look at her companions face. She fiddled with her hands, lips moving but no words coming out.

Yaz gently wiped the last stray tear from her face. She took her time, letting her hand caress the others skin, drinking in the feeling. “You’ve done so much for me. I only wish there was more I could do for you.” She admitted softly.

The Doctor snatched her hand mid-air and clasped it with her own. “Oh Yasmin Khan,” She smiled ruefully. “You are still absolutely brilliant.”

Yaz blushed furiously. She wasn’t sure if it was from her friend’s kind words or their joined hands or maybe both. Most definitely both.

The Doctor gave a strong tug on her friends hand and suddenly Yaz was falling into the doctors lap. She let out a small noise of approval as the doctor gathered her in her arms, as they became nothing but a tangle of limbs and smiling faces.

“I want to show you so much more.” The time lord whispered. She lowered her head so her lips were brushing the others cheek. “I want to show you planets beginnings and ends. I want to show you the wonders of the universe. I want to show you the stars up close. I want to-”

The Doctor’s breath hitched as Yaz timidly brushed her lips against the others. Within seconds she was kissing back, knowing that somehow this silly human girl was now a piece of her. She loved her and as much as she knew she shouldn’t she wanted nothing more. Nothing more than to love Yasmin Khan and to be loved by her. She knew the dangers of this, she remembered Rose very fondly. However she pushed all doubts to the back of her mind as she broke away from Yaz and flashed her a genuine grin. “More of that.” She finished. “Oh, definitely more of that.”


End file.
